1. The Need to Slow Down
The reality is we all need to do this anyways, right? In our fast paced world everything around us seems to push us even faster. Not a child. They slow everything down. What was once an easy drive to the grocery store, or a run down the street to the bakery has become an event. In the summer it's not as hard, but once winter hits: shoes, jacket, mits, appropriate clothing, and of course the thing my son always reminds me of as we are getting ready and he is patting his head like mad, his hat.
Like it or not, things slow down with a child. At first I was frustrated at how slow things were, but I have started to sink into this pace. In fact, I have realized my pace of walking has significantly slowed down of late (Megan can attest to this as she seems to always be asking me to walk faster as I ask her to walk slower). It's amazing how things which used "have"to get done right away can now "wait till tomorrow."
2. Kids Are Messy
Ya, ya, ya. As if I didn't know this, but I didn't REALLY know this. Before solids things were fairly straight forward, apart from the odd atomic poo or projectile puke, things tended to be, well, easy.
Then the solids came. In the beginning I tried feverishly to clean up any spill, or mess; wiping baby J's face every time there was a small dot on it (this quite annoyed Megan as she didn't really care about the mess). Months ago I feared pasta. Red sauce, enough said. But now, no sweat. 95% of the time I can barely see a part of baby J's body which doesn't have sauce on it (him wiping it in his hair and smiling is now hilarious). I have been thinking, maybe adults need to start getting a little messy and stop being so refined.
3. Celebrate Everything
Life is way too short to wait for a 'special celebration.' Gosh! Megan and I have always chosen to celebrate the small things in our marriage, but having baby J has taken things to a whole new level. Who new that walking could be a time to celebrate? I mean I do it every day, maybe I should celebrate every time I take a step.
I remember one instance recently which strikes me as significant. If you can believe it, we have been trying to potty train baby J since before he could sit up. I know, crazy (well maybe not, once you read "Diaper Free Baby," it may change your mind). Anyways, we have been cueing him with a sound for pee, "ssssss," and a sound for poo, (insert grunt). Baby J was not too early in on this potty training before he got the hang of it, but there have been some hiccups. He hadn't gone on the potty for days and Meg and I were fairly frustrated, but we continued to try and sure enough he went after not going for a while! We were celebrating BIG TIME and even FaceTimed my parents to get them in on the celebration. They were a little confused and were not as celebratory at the time as us, understandably. However a short while later I received an email from my mom saying she wished she had of joined in a little more.
I am telling you, celebrate the small things! Not just with a child, but with whoever you can! Children really give you an excuse to celebrate the almost ridiculous things, so TAKE ADVANTAGE! We are in celebration mode, A LOT and will continue to be.
4. There Is A Well of Energy Only God Gives
I am not going to get all theological, but the reality is if you talk to ANY parent I don't think they can give you a concrete answer as to where they find the energy to do all they do. Some may say, "sleep when the baby sleeps." Others may say, "coffee." But the truth is it is a gift given by God, I believe, to all parents; a common grace.
The reason I say this is there are an immense amount of parents who say, "Susie woke up at 12am and slept in my arms till 4am as I sat there. Every time I went to put her down she woke up." Sleep becomes obsolete, well, actually, sleep becomes a gift. It's a gift some people use as much as possible and some use when they can. The truth is being a parent is incredibly tiring. And it doesn't stop when the kids get to a certain age. My mom has told me that when I was still living at home she and my dad would never be able to fall asleep until me or my siblings got home and were in our rooms. Call them worriers if you want, I call it care, love, and being a parent. There are long nights seemingly every night, yet, every day I, we, have just enough strength to make it through.
This energy is a gift. Take it. I know I do and I need every bit of it.
5. It's Humbling
I knew being a dad was going to teach me A LOT of things I never knew, but it's overwhelming. I can remember having to apologize to my son when he was just a couple of months old. I know what you're saying, but every dad I have talked to has had that "I just want to throw this kid through the wall" moment when they have been holding, rocking, shhhing, singing, bouncing, screaming, jumping, dancing, and any other thing a person can do, and still, the child will not stop crying. It's humbling to know the only thing I can do, is hold my child. I can't do anything else. I have to let go of the idea that I have the control to stop this child from crying because I don't.
I have had to apologize numerous times for reasons I won't get into because it's not the point. The point is my son is 15 months old and I am apologizing to him. He is teaching me inconsistencies in my life I never thought I had. It's humbling to say "I am sorry" to a boy who can't yet say "I forgive you," but he sure does show it.
I know every child is different and every experience is different. What about you? What have you learned from being a parent?
Share your thoughts I would love to hear them.
