This week I had the privilege of writing a paper for one of my classes this semester in Seminary. I wrote on my need for God. I thought you (whomever you are) would be interested in this. Here are my thoughts:
Understanding my need for God starts with looking at the life of Jesus. It is ludicrous to say Jesus did not understand His need for God the Father. All anyone has to do is look at the life of Jesus and will plainly see Jesus demonstrated a need for His Father: “Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. Later Simon and the others went out to find him. When they found him, they said, ‘Everyone is looking for you’” (Mark 1:35-37, New Living Translation). This was not an uncommon practice of Jesus. In Matthew 14:23, after Jesus had performed the miracle of feeding five thousand men and their families, he drew off to be alone. Again in Luke 6:12, Luke talks about soon after a day of healing and teaching to the Pharisees he was up all night on a mountain praying. There are countless other passages of Scripture demonstrating how Jesus needed God the Father. It would be absolutely asinine to believe we as humans do not need God if Jesus Himself demonstrated He did.
Let us remember Jesus was God in the flesh; He did not need anything, but chose to demonstrate to us how we ought to live. If we say, by the way we live, we need other things and not God we do not even understand the core of our neediness. As Bradley P. Holt says in Thirsty for God, “Jesus lived out an intimate relation to God, modelling prayer and obedience to his own followers but also inviting them to share in the oneness he experienced with the father” (p. 24). Understanding my need for God begins when I soberly look at the life of Jesus and do as He did. The biggest thing I was challenged with over the last four months has been to do just this. Yes, it is a massive undertaking, but to be challenged by anything less is not what it means to follow Jesus and know my need for God. Looking at the life of Jesus there are a lot of things we all need to introduce into our lives, but the most challenging ones for me have been the ideas of solitude and accepting other people.
Solitude is an interesting discipline. For people who do not know what it is it seems to be boring. An honest reflection of myself would show I too saw solitude as boring for most of my life. The idea of being by myself for long periods of time without really accomplishing anything was something I could not comprehend. After reflecting, studying, and listening to others, what I thought was solitude could not have been farther from the truth. In fact, solitude is not about accomplishing things, but ceasing to accomplish because the focus is not on doing, but being. I love to be needed; I love accomplishing things; I love to be the person to solve the problem. In solitude all of this fades away: my love to be needed becomes knowing what I need; my love for accomplishing things becomes knowing things have been accomplished; my love of being the person to solve the problem becomes knowing there is nothing to be solved. Being is the ability to rest knowing Jesus has done it all; we do not have to do anything for significance, but rest knowing in Jesus we have our significance.
The concept of being has taken a lot of time to develop because it means I have to sit with myself and find significance not in what I can do, but in Jesus. I have always had a hard time with this. The world is a place which tells us we can be certain people if we just do, or have, or want whatever it is the world is offering us. The ability to rest knowing our significance does not lie in what we do, or have, or want takes a lot of discipline. It means taking time away from those things and spending time with the One, God, where our significance does lie through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. As Dallas Willard says in The Spirit of the Disciplines,
"Solitude frees us, actually. This above all explains its primacy and priority among the disciplines. The normal course of day-to-day human interactions locks us into patters of feeling, thought, and action that are geared to a world set against God. Nothing but solitude can allow the development of a freedom from the ingrained behaviors that hinder our integration into God’s order" (p.161).
I cannot say I truly understand solitude, but in being challenged to put it into practice in my life I can definitely see the rhythm of God more than I could before. It is this easy concept we hardly ever practice: the more time we give to God the more He is going to show the way we ought to live. I do not want to say life becomes easier because it depends on how we look at life, but incorporating solitude into my life has been a place where I feel most accepted, loved, and cherished, areas which I struggle to demonstrate to others.
As stated above, I have a hard time accepting others as they are. In looking at the life of Jesus I see a man who saw, cherished, loved, and accepted people as they were, no strings attached. This is most vividly demonstrated in John 4. Jesus is found to be interacting with a Samaritan woman by a well in the middle of the day. I will not be able to get into all the details of the story, but will say this, Jesus knew who this woman was; He knew why she had to come in the middle of the day, in the heat; He knew she was a Samaritan (John 4:1-26). The incredible part of this story is the woman’s reaction to Jesus not just telling her He was the Messiah, but telling her all she had done. Jesus was not there to condemn the woman, but to give her life. There is something miraculous when we accept others; no matter what a person is going through or their circumstance, to know they are accepted as they are brings life.
One of the reasons I believe it is hard for me to accept other people is because I have a hard to accepting who I am. I lived most of my life allowing others to tell me who I am and living the way I thought they would like me best. In looking at John 4 I realize Jesus knows everything about me - past, present, and future - and yet still accepts me and wants to give me life. Life is found in accepting who we are before God, but life is also given when we accept others as they are.
In the entire life of Jesus we see a man who knew who He was before God the Father and was able to demonstrate it by how He lived. The most challenging part of solitude and acceptance for me is, I come to God as I am. I do not come with what I have done, the great thoughts I have, or the knowledge I have, but I come as I am. The best part of this is God accepts me. Something so simple, but yet so real has been challenging for me: to accept the simplicity of acceptance before God in solitude.
Let us remember Jesus was God in the flesh; He did not need anything, but chose to demonstrate to us how we ought to live. If we say, by the way we live, we need other things and not God we do not even understand the core of our neediness. As Bradley P. Holt says in Thirsty for God, “Jesus lived out an intimate relation to God, modelling prayer and obedience to his own followers but also inviting them to share in the oneness he experienced with the father” (p. 24). Understanding my need for God begins when I soberly look at the life of Jesus and do as He did. The biggest thing I was challenged with over the last four months has been to do just this. Yes, it is a massive undertaking, but to be challenged by anything less is not what it means to follow Jesus and know my need for God. Looking at the life of Jesus there are a lot of things we all need to introduce into our lives, but the most challenging ones for me have been the ideas of solitude and accepting other people.
Solitude is an interesting discipline. For people who do not know what it is it seems to be boring. An honest reflection of myself would show I too saw solitude as boring for most of my life. The idea of being by myself for long periods of time without really accomplishing anything was something I could not comprehend. After reflecting, studying, and listening to others, what I thought was solitude could not have been farther from the truth. In fact, solitude is not about accomplishing things, but ceasing to accomplish because the focus is not on doing, but being. I love to be needed; I love accomplishing things; I love to be the person to solve the problem. In solitude all of this fades away: my love to be needed becomes knowing what I need; my love for accomplishing things becomes knowing things have been accomplished; my love of being the person to solve the problem becomes knowing there is nothing to be solved. Being is the ability to rest knowing Jesus has done it all; we do not have to do anything for significance, but rest knowing in Jesus we have our significance.
The concept of being has taken a lot of time to develop because it means I have to sit with myself and find significance not in what I can do, but in Jesus. I have always had a hard time with this. The world is a place which tells us we can be certain people if we just do, or have, or want whatever it is the world is offering us. The ability to rest knowing our significance does not lie in what we do, or have, or want takes a lot of discipline. It means taking time away from those things and spending time with the One, God, where our significance does lie through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. As Dallas Willard says in The Spirit of the Disciplines,
"Solitude frees us, actually. This above all explains its primacy and priority among the disciplines. The normal course of day-to-day human interactions locks us into patters of feeling, thought, and action that are geared to a world set against God. Nothing but solitude can allow the development of a freedom from the ingrained behaviors that hinder our integration into God’s order" (p.161).
I cannot say I truly understand solitude, but in being challenged to put it into practice in my life I can definitely see the rhythm of God more than I could before. It is this easy concept we hardly ever practice: the more time we give to God the more He is going to show the way we ought to live. I do not want to say life becomes easier because it depends on how we look at life, but incorporating solitude into my life has been a place where I feel most accepted, loved, and cherished, areas which I struggle to demonstrate to others.
As stated above, I have a hard time accepting others as they are. In looking at the life of Jesus I see a man who saw, cherished, loved, and accepted people as they were, no strings attached. This is most vividly demonstrated in John 4. Jesus is found to be interacting with a Samaritan woman by a well in the middle of the day. I will not be able to get into all the details of the story, but will say this, Jesus knew who this woman was; He knew why she had to come in the middle of the day, in the heat; He knew she was a Samaritan (John 4:1-26). The incredible part of this story is the woman’s reaction to Jesus not just telling her He was the Messiah, but telling her all she had done. Jesus was not there to condemn the woman, but to give her life. There is something miraculous when we accept others; no matter what a person is going through or their circumstance, to know they are accepted as they are brings life.
One of the reasons I believe it is hard for me to accept other people is because I have a hard to accepting who I am. I lived most of my life allowing others to tell me who I am and living the way I thought they would like me best. In looking at John 4 I realize Jesus knows everything about me - past, present, and future - and yet still accepts me and wants to give me life. Life is found in accepting who we are before God, but life is also given when we accept others as they are.
In the entire life of Jesus we see a man who knew who He was before God the Father and was able to demonstrate it by how He lived. The most challenging part of solitude and acceptance for me is, I come to God as I am. I do not come with what I have done, the great thoughts I have, or the knowledge I have, but I come as I am. The best part of this is God accepts me. Something so simple, but yet so real has been challenging for me: to accept the simplicity of acceptance before God in solitude.
Thoughts are always welcome.
That's it.
Andrew, You have a gift...keep writing, blogging, speaking. My prayer for you and Megan is that your children will grow up to love the Lord and be a blessing to others and to you...as you are such a blessing and encouragement to so many and to me. As an introvert I have the discipline of solitude has not been a difficult one for me. I have and continue to enjoy solitude, I gain so much strength when I am alone with God. However, being a "control freak" has made my acceptance of other people as they are a difficult discipline! Daily, sometimes moment by moment, I have to release my expectations of others to God. I am learning to accept others as God has accepted me, but this seems to be a life-long process. Thanks for sharing your paper! I remember when you shared all your papers with me not so long ago and I miss it. Love you, M.
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