Help. It's a word that is used by some and hardly ever by others. Sometimes it is used in dire situations and other times it is used when it seems like no help is actually needed.
I was sitting in The Rooster Cafe (Broadview Ave., across from Riverdale Park), my favorite place to read and get current on youth, church, and neighborhood culture, on Wednesday afternoon and a woman just simply says 'excuse me'.
She had been sitting a couple seats away for pretty much the same amount of time that I had been sitting, but at some point she needed help. She was trying to open up a small container of Tylenol. Why? I don't know. I hope it's not for a headache because she should just stop drinking coffee, but that's besides the point. She simply said 'excuse me, but could you help get this open for me?' I of course obliged and helped, got it open, and she was able to take her Tylenol.
Immediately I thought about how I don't like asking for help. I believe I can do it all and if I can't, I will learn, so I can (yes I am working on this area of my life. I am not the greatest, I know).
Why don't I ask for help? Why do we as a people fear asking for help? Why is it so important for us to be able to do everything by ourselves?
This question intrigues me as I will be leading a conversation at church this Sunday surrounding this topic.
Is it so bad to ask for help when we don't know how to do something?
Maybe it is just me, but it seems like we need to just ask for help more often.
Maybe in asking for help we will find great strength.
Maybe in asking for help we will actually find out how to do something properly.
Maybe in asking for help we will beat down our pride, learn that we don't know it all, and that it is ok.
Maybe in asking for help we will learn that we need people more than we think we do.
Just my thoughts. Let me know what you think...even if it is just you Megan (my wife).
PS. Sorry for being lame in not posting much. I am getting back into it.
Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI had a few thoughts come up for me as I read this reflection.
I grew up asking for help and having plenty of it around. For the most part, as a young girl I had 4 people at my beck and call: my mother, two older sisters, and my father. I asked for help and received help a lot, even when I didn't actually need it.
It has been a learning experience for me to know when I actually need help and when I do not (differentiating my wants and needs). I have had to learn to sit with the experience of thinking i need help, but instead plugging away and working the resolve the situation on my own. A lot of this learning has happened in my job, and at home.
It has also been interesting living with someone who is the opposite of me! Living a life of asking for help all the time, having my husband 'save' or 'help' me, and then consequently never having to help him. An interesting pattern.
In my experience, I have had to learn the opposite of what is shared in this post. And I agree, in knowing when it is appropriate to ask for help and taking that step, we can find great strength, learning, and humility.
A great reflection! Thanks for listening.
I'm still learning to ask for help :)
ReplyDelete