The way a person is treating me is more about them than me, unless I have committed an authentic act of offence.
I heard these words from my wife a few years ago and thought, 'what a nice saying....' and thought nothing else. A few years later I am hanging on to these words as I interact with people. This has allowed me to see beyond the surface, to realize what is going on in a person's life is way bigger than the interaction I am having with them.
As a Youth Pastor I see many youth come through the church, but I only ever see them a few hours a week. I interact with them, encourage them, joke with them, teach them, and then they go back to their homes, schools, and situations. The truth is, I have no idea what happens after they leave. Sure, I can imagine what's going on through what they tell me, but I honestly do not know.
I don't know whether their parents are hurtful towards them or loving.
I don't know whether they are struggling in school or not.
I don't know the person they are beginning to start a relationship with or whether they sit alone at school.
I don't know whether they are a bully or get bullied.
The same is true for any person I meet. All I know is what I perceive and what they tell me. I don't know their backgrounds or family situation, what happens behinds close doors. This realization is a good thing! Realizing this has released me to be a compassionate person because the way they are interacting with me tells me a bit about what's going on in their life. If they are angry, there is something going on which is wrong. If they are happy, something has given them encouragement. If they are worried, something has happened which has shaken them up a bit.
Seriously, it's been one of the most releasing things I have experienced in a very long time. I am out of the picture because it's not about me. Having compassion is looking at a person and trying to understand, get to know, and embrace the full being I am talking to.
What if we were all a little bit more compassionate?
What if we realized the way a person is acting really has nothing to do with us unless we have committed an authentic act of offence?
What if we started realizing we don't know people as well as we think and sit and listen to them as they talk?
We may just find ourselves being in a place where people WANT to talk with us and be in relationship with us. Why? Because we are simply listening, sharing, loving.
It's really simple.
I heard these words from my wife a few years ago and thought, 'what a nice saying....' and thought nothing else. A few years later I am hanging on to these words as I interact with people. This has allowed me to see beyond the surface, to realize what is going on in a person's life is way bigger than the interaction I am having with them.
As a Youth Pastor I see many youth come through the church, but I only ever see them a few hours a week. I interact with them, encourage them, joke with them, teach them, and then they go back to their homes, schools, and situations. The truth is, I have no idea what happens after they leave. Sure, I can imagine what's going on through what they tell me, but I honestly do not know.
I don't know whether their parents are hurtful towards them or loving.
I don't know whether they are struggling in school or not.
I don't know the person they are beginning to start a relationship with or whether they sit alone at school.
I don't know whether they are a bully or get bullied.
The same is true for any person I meet. All I know is what I perceive and what they tell me. I don't know their backgrounds or family situation, what happens behinds close doors. This realization is a good thing! Realizing this has released me to be a compassionate person because the way they are interacting with me tells me a bit about what's going on in their life. If they are angry, there is something going on which is wrong. If they are happy, something has given them encouragement. If they are worried, something has happened which has shaken them up a bit.
Seriously, it's been one of the most releasing things I have experienced in a very long time. I am out of the picture because it's not about me. Having compassion is looking at a person and trying to understand, get to know, and embrace the full being I am talking to.
What if we were all a little bit more compassionate?
What if we realized the way a person is acting really has nothing to do with us unless we have committed an authentic act of offence?
What if we started realizing we don't know people as well as we think and sit and listen to them as they talk?
We may just find ourselves being in a place where people WANT to talk with us and be in relationship with us. Why? Because we are simply listening, sharing, loving.
It's really simple.
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